Oh hooray! I won't have to post every day anymore. This stopped being fun when Thanksgiving happened.
So, what to tell you today...
Okay. Here is another bragalog.
I had a lot of cavities as a little kid (this is not the bragalog part). I just didn't brush my teeth. That's all there is to it.
However, when I went to go get them filled I freaked out because I was so terrified of needles (note: I am not longer afraid of needles. I am so blase about needles.) We were living in Honduras so I couldn't have been more than nine years old at the time.
I was crying and trembling and so insistent that the dentist could give me fillings without Novocaine that finally, in frustration, he said ok. He said when it hurt too much for me to stand then I should tell him and he would give me the Novocaine.
But I was one stubborn and frightened kid. It hurt so much but I was convinced that a shot would hurt more so I got my fillings without Novocaine. I don't remember how many, but it was more than one. I do remember holding my mouth open and having so many tears running down my cheeks that my shirt collar was soaked. Afterward, the dentist looked as traumatized as me.
Years later I had to get another filling, and I got Novocaine. Man, I was a dumb kid sometimes. Still, that is pretty hard core. This may also be a lesson on why you shouldn't go to a dentist in a third world country.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
A baby a baby!!!!!!
My littlest brother Joe is a dad! His daughter who, last time I heard, is going to be named Brooklyn Charmaine, was born today, November 29th. She's early but healthy and she and Stephanie are doing ok.
Hooray for early Christmas presents!
Also, I did a guest blog on Chris's blog here.
Hooray for early Christmas presents!
Also, I did a guest blog on Chris's blog here.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
I am a guest blogger today you guys!
This is Chris. Anna asked if I would do a blog for her today, so naturally I said no because I didn't want to have to think of anything to write. That was about 3 hours ago. I read a magazine, ate an orange, and walked to the grocery store to buy some shrimp in the meantime. About 8 minutes ago I told Anna that I changed my mind and would write a post for her. This was mostly because I thought of some ideas to write about,so it wont be an inconvenience to me anymore.
I am a fair-weather do-gooder.
I will now tell the story about how I came to be a bionic wonder. I am a superior human specimen now than when I was born.
1) I got braces in 9th grade. I have large teeth and a relatively small mouth. My teeth got super crowded and twisted. Then, thanks to mega-sweet-NASA-metals, my grill was transmogrified into a proper modern masterpiece. Also, I have permanent gold retainers cemented onto the backs of my teeth. It is kind of cool to know I always have it, but it makes flossing a pain.
2) My eyes were zapped by lasers until I had eagle vision. My eyes were bad. I had 20/800 vision and had worn glasses since second grade. I never knew what it was like to enjoy a simple swim or ride a roller coaster that went upside down without taking huge risks. I have gone through a lot of pairs of glasses and have had to superglue every pair I have owned. Many of them more than once. Nothing is more embarrassing to be 13 years old and playing in the cultural hall in church in front of the Merry Misses and Mia Maids and have a lens plop out of your glasses and have to stop everyone to find in and click it back in the frame. Nothing, that is, except for when you have bifocals and everyone tells you that they are pretty sure your glasses are broken now and do you need to call your mom? That is pretty embarrassing.
So I was pretty excited (even if it was 12 years later) to go get myself LASIKed up. I sat in a dark office with those long thin strips of wood in vases for a while before a LASIK technician came in and told me what was going to happen. I was supposed to take lots of ibuprofen and some valium to calm my nerves before we went in, and then I should do the whole laser bit and go home and nap. They brought me the drugs and I swallowed them and waited for 10 minutes in the same dork office while the doctor got the machine ready. They piped some muzak into the office and I was in a comfy chair, but I definitely felt like I was not their usual sort of demographic. I was 1/3 of the age of most other patients in the eye surgical hospital, but it meant there were lots of magazines to read that I had never seen before.
They came and got me and brought me into the laser room. It looked like something out of a nuclear warship engine room; there were swingy and rolly bits everywhere. They had me lie down on a bed slab and velcroed my head still. The slab rotated at the feet to move my head from the incision machine to the corneal zapper (unfortunately not the official title).
NOTE: If you get queasy with stories about eyes, it gets pretty queasalicious for the next few paragraphs. Just a heads up.
I was supposed to look at this red dot and not blink while the people put a ring-like cup underneath my eyelids that surrounded the whole eye. This hooked on to a vacuum that sucked my eye about a centimeter out of the socket towards the laser that would cut the corneal flap. I am glad it was a laser and not a blade because I would have been considerably more scared. They sucked and cut the right eye first. There was a mechanical noise and I could feel my eye moving. Everything started going gray around the edges of my eye until I couldn't see anything. It wasn't black like when you close your eye, because I could sense light and dark. It was a very light gray. It felt like it does when you roll your eyes back hard into your head. It took about 10 seconds to make the cut, and they unsucked my eye and put some drops it because I wasn't supposed to blink. Then they put the ring on my other eye. This one was harder to get on because I kept flinching. They got it on and turned on the suction but when they started cutting, I could feel a small sharp pain like a pinch travel around my eye. It didn't hurt, so I didn't bother stopping them, but it was kind of freaky.
Then they took a thin metal tool and flipped back the flap on both eyes. THAT was weird. The surface of the eye is very smooth, but the surface of the cornea is pretty rough. Like frosted glass. Everything went blurry (blurrier even than my already glasses-less vision) and it looked like I was in a really thick but clear fog.
They rotated me to the zapper where they had to put on a different ring to keep me from blinking. The right eye was first- I had to stare at a green laser and not move or look at anything but the green laser for 8 seconds. If my eye shifted a bit (as is natural seeing as I was alive), the laser would track it and compensate. This is some sweet technology. It made a few hundred individual zaps to reshape my eye in seconds and I could tel immediately (even through the rough cornea) that Things were very sharp. My left eye, again, was not willing to open and It took 5 minutes to get the ring in. I suppose the valium hadn't fully kicked in by then. They zapped that eye too in a matter of seconds with no surprises. Then the replaced the flaps and told me to go sit in a waiting room. They said to not blink a lot because that could move the flaps, and recommended I close my eyes and rest. I was too excited though, so I only closed one eye and looked at stuff through the other. When Anna came to drive me home they made me wear those huge dork-tastic plastic sheet sunglasses to leave. I took them off but Anna made me promise to wear the until we got home. Anna was nice and went to the library while I was getting morphed and picked me up some old radio shows. I got home and tried to listen but finally the valium kicked in and I slept for 5 hours. Then Anna read my torts cases to me and I dictated my notes. It was fun to hang out with Anna, but it was the most horrible night of studying ever. It was so cool to have nice vision I rode my bike to school and my check up the next day. The procedure was terrifying and I was convinced that I would be blinded by high powered lasers, but it is really really cool to have 20/15 vision. And I can go outside in rain. And I can go inside a warm house from the cold and not get foggy. And I can jump in water any time I want. I haven't ridden a roller coaster upside down yet, but I am excited to.
So bionic.
I am a fair-weather do-gooder.
I will now tell the story about how I came to be a bionic wonder. I am a superior human specimen now than when I was born.
1) I got braces in 9th grade. I have large teeth and a relatively small mouth. My teeth got super crowded and twisted. Then, thanks to mega-sweet-NASA-metals, my grill was transmogrified into a proper modern masterpiece. Also, I have permanent gold retainers cemented onto the backs of my teeth. It is kind of cool to know I always have it, but it makes flossing a pain.
2) My eyes were zapped by lasers until I had eagle vision. My eyes were bad. I had 20/800 vision and had worn glasses since second grade. I never knew what it was like to enjoy a simple swim or ride a roller coaster that went upside down without taking huge risks. I have gone through a lot of pairs of glasses and have had to superglue every pair I have owned. Many of them more than once. Nothing is more embarrassing to be 13 years old and playing in the cultural hall in church in front of the Merry Misses and Mia Maids and have a lens plop out of your glasses and have to stop everyone to find in and click it back in the frame. Nothing, that is, except for when you have bifocals and everyone tells you that they are pretty sure your glasses are broken now and do you need to call your mom? That is pretty embarrassing.
So I was pretty excited (even if it was 12 years later) to go get myself LASIKed up. I sat in a dark office with those long thin strips of wood in vases for a while before a LASIK technician came in and told me what was going to happen. I was supposed to take lots of ibuprofen and some valium to calm my nerves before we went in, and then I should do the whole laser bit and go home and nap. They brought me the drugs and I swallowed them and waited for 10 minutes in the same dork office while the doctor got the machine ready. They piped some muzak into the office and I was in a comfy chair, but I definitely felt like I was not their usual sort of demographic. I was 1/3 of the age of most other patients in the eye surgical hospital, but it meant there were lots of magazines to read that I had never seen before.
They came and got me and brought me into the laser room. It looked like something out of a nuclear warship engine room; there were swingy and rolly bits everywhere. They had me lie down on a bed slab and velcroed my head still. The slab rotated at the feet to move my head from the incision machine to the corneal zapper (unfortunately not the official title).
NOTE: If you get queasy with stories about eyes, it gets pretty queasalicious for the next few paragraphs. Just a heads up.
I was supposed to look at this red dot and not blink while the people put a ring-like cup underneath my eyelids that surrounded the whole eye. This hooked on to a vacuum that sucked my eye about a centimeter out of the socket towards the laser that would cut the corneal flap. I am glad it was a laser and not a blade because I would have been considerably more scared. They sucked and cut the right eye first. There was a mechanical noise and I could feel my eye moving. Everything started going gray around the edges of my eye until I couldn't see anything. It wasn't black like when you close your eye, because I could sense light and dark. It was a very light gray. It felt like it does when you roll your eyes back hard into your head. It took about 10 seconds to make the cut, and they unsucked my eye and put some drops it because I wasn't supposed to blink. Then they put the ring on my other eye. This one was harder to get on because I kept flinching. They got it on and turned on the suction but when they started cutting, I could feel a small sharp pain like a pinch travel around my eye. It didn't hurt, so I didn't bother stopping them, but it was kind of freaky.
Then they took a thin metal tool and flipped back the flap on both eyes. THAT was weird. The surface of the eye is very smooth, but the surface of the cornea is pretty rough. Like frosted glass. Everything went blurry (blurrier even than my already glasses-less vision) and it looked like I was in a really thick but clear fog.
They rotated me to the zapper where they had to put on a different ring to keep me from blinking. The right eye was first- I had to stare at a green laser and not move or look at anything but the green laser for 8 seconds. If my eye shifted a bit (as is natural seeing as I was alive), the laser would track it and compensate. This is some sweet technology. It made a few hundred individual zaps to reshape my eye in seconds and I could tel immediately (even through the rough cornea) that Things were very sharp. My left eye, again, was not willing to open and It took 5 minutes to get the ring in. I suppose the valium hadn't fully kicked in by then. They zapped that eye too in a matter of seconds with no surprises. Then the replaced the flaps and told me to go sit in a waiting room. They said to not blink a lot because that could move the flaps, and recommended I close my eyes and rest. I was too excited though, so I only closed one eye and looked at stuff through the other. When Anna came to drive me home they made me wear those huge dork-tastic plastic sheet sunglasses to leave. I took them off but Anna made me promise to wear the until we got home. Anna was nice and went to the library while I was getting morphed and picked me up some old radio shows. I got home and tried to listen but finally the valium kicked in and I slept for 5 hours. Then Anna read my torts cases to me and I dictated my notes. It was fun to hang out with Anna, but it was the most horrible night of studying ever. It was so cool to have nice vision I rode my bike to school and my check up the next day. The procedure was terrifying and I was convinced that I would be blinded by high powered lasers, but it is really really cool to have 20/15 vision. And I can go outside in rain. And I can go inside a warm house from the cold and not get foggy. And I can jump in water any time I want. I haven't ridden a roller coaster upside down yet, but I am excited to.
So bionic.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Hygiene
I didn't take a shower today until 7:30 p.m. About 20 minutes later I dumped pizza on my lap. Still it was good pizza.
Sorry all you millions of faithful fans--I am so sleepy that the words on the screen are fuzzy.
Goodnight.
Sorry all you millions of faithful fans--I am so sleepy that the words on the screen are fuzzy.
Goodnight.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
It is Thanksgiving so you can bet your buttons I am not going to write a long post. However, lists are easy so I will make one of the big events of the day:
1. We played Mafia and I was an awesome liar and tricked EVERYONE. HAHAHAHAHA!
2. The missionaries played Mafia with us, and then went home and then we found a pair of their shoes that they accidentally left here. ??? That was funny. I mean, they do just live across the hall, but isn’t it a little hard to leave your shoes at someone’s house?
3. We had seven pies. SEVEN PIES!!!! How absolutely awesome.
4. In between making multiple dishes, my mother in law spent the entire time doing dishes. That is an example of an excellent character. Speaking of which, my in laws are really fun. They are funny and helpful and so easy going. One interesting non important fact about them. They can easily and quickly fall asleep anywhere. It is impressive.
Okay. That’s enough.
1. We played Mafia and I was an awesome liar and tricked EVERYONE. HAHAHAHAHA!
2. The missionaries played Mafia with us, and then went home and then we found a pair of their shoes that they accidentally left here. ??? That was funny. I mean, they do just live across the hall, but isn’t it a little hard to leave your shoes at someone’s house?
3. We had seven pies. SEVEN PIES!!!! How absolutely awesome.
4. In between making multiple dishes, my mother in law spent the entire time doing dishes. That is an example of an excellent character. Speaking of which, my in laws are really fun. They are funny and helpful and so easy going. One interesting non important fact about them. They can easily and quickly fall asleep anywhere. It is impressive.
Okay. That’s enough.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving Eve
All day long I have been getting ready for Thanksgiving. I cleaned everything, even the places that no one will see. I never do that. The only thing I didn't clean was our other bathroom shower. I just left a rag and some cleaner in the tub so that Chris can clean it while he takes his shower tomorrow morning. I think he will have a good time.
I also butterflied our turkey and brined it. Wow. I'm such a hero. Getting ready for Thanksgiving is fun. Even though it took all day, I had a great time. I think part of it was because Soapy was being so charming, and part of it is that making Thanksgiving a big deal makes it more fun.
Most of Chris's family arrived this evening. Lisa gets here tomorrow. It was really fun to see Soapy get so excited to play with them. She is going to be so spoiled this weekend. I am excited to not be the center of her world for a while.
It almost feels like the beginning of a family reunion... except we're missing four members of Cris's family. Nathan is in Poland on his mission, but we don't really miss him because when you are on your mission you kind of become fake for two years. But Bryan, Katie and their little Big O are still in Provo. I wish they could be here. Wow, I really got sad thinking about it just now.
One highlight of this Thanksgiving Eve: Chris manipulating the turkey like a puppet. Sometimes pretending that animal carcasses are puppets is funny.
I also butterflied our turkey and brined it. Wow. I'm such a hero. Getting ready for Thanksgiving is fun. Even though it took all day, I had a great time. I think part of it was because Soapy was being so charming, and part of it is that making Thanksgiving a big deal makes it more fun.
Most of Chris's family arrived this evening. Lisa gets here tomorrow. It was really fun to see Soapy get so excited to play with them. She is going to be so spoiled this weekend. I am excited to not be the center of her world for a while.
It almost feels like the beginning of a family reunion... except we're missing four members of Cris's family. Nathan is in Poland on his mission, but we don't really miss him because when you are on your mission you kind of become fake for two years. But Bryan, Katie and their little Big O are still in Provo. I wish they could be here. Wow, I really got sad thinking about it just now.
One highlight of this Thanksgiving Eve: Chris manipulating the turkey like a puppet. Sometimes pretending that animal carcasses are puppets is funny.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A list of what I did today
1. Threw up twice.
2. Peed my pants twice.*
3. Cleaned a shower and took a shower at the same time. This was multitasking at its best. It was very satisfying except for two mishaps: a)I scrubbed a little too hard on the shower door and fell out onto the bathroom floor b) I was washing the shower handle and accidentally turned it to super hot and was slightly scalded.
4.Cooked rice for an old lady who didn't remember how to do it. I cleared up some important questions for her. Does the water have to boil before you put in the rice? Do you need a lid? Do you pour the rice through a colander to get rid of the water after you are done? No. Yes. No.
5. Burned a pie crust. I am really sad about that.
6. Told someone I didn't know very well that I peed my pants twice today and instantly regretted it. Talk about awkward moments.
7. Went to bed right now. Goodnight.
*If you are wondering whether numbers 1 and 2 happened at the same time, they did. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy. You are so lucky you get to read about it on this blog.
2. Peed my pants twice.*
3. Cleaned a shower and took a shower at the same time. This was multitasking at its best. It was very satisfying except for two mishaps: a)I scrubbed a little too hard on the shower door and fell out onto the bathroom floor b) I was washing the shower handle and accidentally turned it to super hot and was slightly scalded.
4.Cooked rice for an old lady who didn't remember how to do it. I cleared up some important questions for her. Does the water have to boil before you put in the rice? Do you need a lid? Do you pour the rice through a colander to get rid of the water after you are done? No. Yes. No.
5. Burned a pie crust. I am really sad about that.
6. Told someone I didn't know very well that I peed my pants twice today and instantly regretted it. Talk about awkward moments.
7. Went to bed right now. Goodnight.
*If you are wondering whether numbers 1 and 2 happened at the same time, they did. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy. You are so lucky you get to read about it on this blog.
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