Monday, November 24, 2008
Shy People Are Cool
They really are.
I used to look down on shy people. Mostly, because I was super shy as a kid and I hated feeling awkward and embarrassed all the time. I figured I was a sissy-pants for not overcoming my shyness and therefore anyone else who was shy was also a sissy-pants.
I also hated being around other shy people because we would all just stand around an bashfully scuff our feet on the ground. 1 shy person + 1 shy person = awkward city.
I much preferred being around extremely talkative people who could talk enough for the both of us, and never notice my deficiency. I admired people who talked a lot and who couldn't seem to stop talking. They didn't even seem to have to think before they spoke. They thought as they spoke, or sometimes much later.
I worked pretty hard in my life to not be shy (I made some hard core goals about this that are now kind of funny to me. One of them was to embarrass myself once every day--that was hard), only to discover that now I like shy people. I have a couple painfully shy kids in my class and they are my favorites right now.
Here are some reasons I like shy people:
I like people who sometimes don't have things to say.
It makes me feel gratified when I see shy kids hiding behind their parents and looking alarmed. By the way, the world is sometimes alarming. I'm glad someone realizes this.
I like that there are people feel that conversation, strings of words, can be so important that they would rather say nothing rather than mess something up. Words are important. Words create and destroy things. Thank you shy people for taking them seriously.
I like that shy kids often grow up to be quiet adults. That's really better than shy. A quiet person is super delightful. They talk when they want to but don't feel any undo obligation. Here are some people who are quiet who read this blog: Laura R and Papa G and sometimes Lisa, but she's more like a medium talker that leans toward quiet.
Quiet and shy people are pretty great. Also, it's fun to notice them because they are kind of camouflaged.
That being said, I did not marry a particularly shy person (at least not after five minutes), and I am going to do my level best to help Soapy be confident and unshy. I like talkative people. Sometimes I ask Chris questions about his bike stuff just to hear him talk (because that's the topic he can go on the longest without any word from me). Talkative people make me feel safe, like if I ever stumble when I talk they can pick up the slack for me.
But shy people are cool too. Today, you should go out of your way to greet a shy person. It will probably freak them out. That is another fun thing about shy people: they are easy to scare.