Thursday, November 19, 2009

Alison's Love Story

So, in a previous post I requested that my 18 year old sister-in-law, Alison, report about her love life. Instead of honoring my request, or even ignoring it, she made a smart-alecky post about it here. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to write a post about her future love life, once she goes off to college. Please enjoy and feel free to make plenty of embarrassing comments directed to her.

A Love Story

Alison wrinkled her nose at the reflection in the mirror. Everyone said her curly hair was beautiful, but to her it was just a tangly bird's nest. She pulled a strand of her lustrous, chestnut hair in front of her eyes and let it go. As it bounced back into a perfect curl, she sighed. If only she had straight hair, everything would be better!

Still, she was not going to let her hair ruin things. Not today. She quickly pulled her thick and fragrant locks into an updo. Today was a big day. Today, she was going to ask Bruno Wasabunny out. Bruno was definitely the hawtttt!est freshman guy at Coolio University. He was so hawwwttt!!! that he didn't have to ask girls out, they all asked him. Alison had been biding her time and she knew that he had just broken up with Ashley Spitandrun. Now was her chance.

She left her dorm room and headed for the cafeteria, where she knew she would find Bruno. She entered and saw him right away, the morning sun turning his wheat-blond hair golden, and glinting off his perfect, white smile. Alison's knees wobbled and she had to grab on to the person walking in front of her to keep from swooning.

"Hey! Ow! Let go of my hair! Are you crazy?"

Crazy? Yes she was. Crazy in love. She could hardly understand what the boy in front of her was saying, her heart was beating so loud. It was something about drawing blood and needing stitches. She had no time for this. She smiled and moved on.

She grabbed a tray and began serving herself breakfast. As if she could eat with love on her mind! Still, she had to maintain appearances. He couldn't know that this was life or death for her. They would joke about it later, she was sure. Laugh and giggle together about how nervous she nervous they both were at first. But today-- today she had to be cool.

Finally she took a deep breath and headed over to the table where he was sitting. There was an open seat RIGHT next to him! Alison felt a sudden calm come over her. Of course she would ask him out. Of course he would say yes in that liquid gold tone of his. They would date, and get married, and have eight children. It was meant to be. Just as she approached he turned around and smiled. Alison heard music. It sounded like this. She smiled back and said, in her most seductive voice, "Hi Bruno."

But wait, something wasn't right. Bruno wasn't looking at her, he was looking past her. She turned to follow his gaze and saw a smiley, suntanned, straight-haired boystealer blow him a kiss. In two seconds, this impostor had run up to him, flung her arms around his neck and gone jungle wild all over his face in such a way that this innocent little story would have to be at least PG if it were made into a film (which it probably will be).

Alison wanted to cry or scream or pull out her pocket-uzi and blow them both to bits. But instead, she dropped her tray on the floor. Marshmallow mateys and milk cascaded down her front like tears. Only then did Bruno look at her. And he laughed.

She turned and ran. But she didn't run very far because, well, she was a little hungry after all. So, she ran back to the breakfast buffet and got some sweet waffles with whipped cream and strawberries. She also grabbed a few chicken nuggets. Then she found the farthest most lonely looking booth and tried to disappear (and eat breakfast). She knew she was going to cry so she let down her hair to hide her face. She whispered, "I can't believe I am such a lollipop." Then her shoulders heaved in silent sobs that stopped periodically as she gently, and tragically, slurped her chocolate milk.

At the same moment, a boy with deliberately mussed dark hair entered the cafeteria, smiling with his friends. He suddenly stopped in his tracks, his dark eyes widening with alarm and a strange need. There was new scent in the room. The usual smell was there: the smell of chicken nuggets and other breakfast food, the smell of human flesh that he had long ago mastered his desire for, even the hint of fresh blood, probably from someones hair recently being ripped out of their scalp...and a new smell. A smell so tantalizing, so delicious it was as though a flavor had been created just for him. He felt the inhuman part of his mind slowly begin to take over his better self and he knew he must leave before he went on a murderous rampage. But first he had to know where it was coming from.

His eyes rapidly scanned the room until they settled on a graceful figure, hunched over her breakfast nuggs in the gross booth right by the bathroom that no one ever sits in. Suddenly his beast nature halted its take over. Instead, a very human emotion filled his being. He no longer wanted to devour this creature. But he did want to be closer. Close enough to touch her lustrous chestnut curls. He left his friend and with a smoldering gaze, he walked to her...

Feel free to continue this story in your own blogs.

P.S. What a classic young adult novel beginning. Well done Anna.


Katie said...

Hahaha. Bryan and I have been sitting here giggling as we read it. Probably it tickled us so much because it is SO LIKE ALISON! Very true to life story here, Anna.

P.S. One of my favorite lines is "breakfast nuggs."

Kathy Haynie said...

I thought you majored in nonfiction??

Oh, wait...maybe this is...

Patricia said...

She hasn't read this yet, but I'm laughing so hard, I can't see straight!
So...this is the beginning of the novel you're writing this year, right? And it's based on such real-life experiences, too!

Bridget said...

Love the nuggs. This was so entertaining. I also loved marshmallow mateys = tears. Keep it up!

ali said...

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA gee thanks anna, but that's not quite how my love life is... but i guess i wouldn't mind too much haha