For that past two Thanksgivings we have had a beautiful tradition. Lisa, one of my awesome sisters-in-law has come to visit. But not this year. In fact, she didn't even TALK about coming this year. This is because of a certain monkey-head named Mark. I can't believe she is putting her fiance ahead of me and my happiness. I find this very insensitive.
I have full confidence that if she were not getting married next month she would be here in Georgia waiting to have Thanksgiving in a hotel room with us. This sweet-talker Mark just ruined Thanksgiving.
ALSO, here is another gripe against him: he has tons of nieces and nephews. Today, Lisa has three nieces. By January she will have, uh, a lot more. I don't know how many exactly. But, more than three. And what if, WHAT IF they have kids of their own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Those exclamation points were for you, Katie.) That will ruin everything. How can I have her undivided attention then! How can my kids be the favorites (and Olivia of course).
The frosting on the cake of doom is that she is clearly upset about this. Take a look at this picture. This is the face of a sad girl.
Some call it love, I call it devastation.
So, Mark. Thanks for ruining Thanksgiving and therefore my life. We are family-enemies. Be on your guard.
Uh, also, welcome to the family. I'm sure you are very nice. Please don't hold it against me that I called you monkey-head.
3 comments:
Whew! I was afraid MY Mark had been up to something nefarious. Gotta watch out for Marks, you know.
When will you see Chris? I am so excited for you and him to be together again, at least for a little while.
Happy Thanksgiving, even without Lisa!
It's okay to call Mark "monkey head." Around here we tell him "BAM IN YOUR FACE!" all the time. And I would like to add that he has ruined our lives quite a few times as well. For instance, Lisa used to come over for dinner all the time. Not anymore. She's busy doing "homework" and stuff on weekdays. Why? Because she is far too busy spending the weekends with Mark. And this is doubly bad because we have now lost our go-to free and totally capable babysitter! Agh! How insensitive is this man? Sheesh. If he weren't so funny and likeable I might have to hate him a little.
However, in Mark's defense, I would like to add this: the fact that he has so many nieces and nephews is a major bonus. Because Olivia is not afraid of him. This is not the case with all men. But she happens to be crazy about Mark (like somebody else I know). Thinks he's hilarious. Can't get enough of him. And, so, when the big O was totally starting to lose it during Lisa and Mark's pre-wedding photo shoot, Mark was a hero and walked around with her a little bit and made her happy.
So, for now at least, we can be family friends. That is, of course, after he officially joins the family.
P.S. I should add that I am only a snob about everyone else using multiple exclamation points in a row. I could never mean you, Anna.
I read this out loud to Mark tonight. He's very afraid of you now, Anna. Just like the Army should be.
Also, that look of devastation? It was because I knew that I was no longer going to be the favorite sibling. Because Mark is so much cooler than me. Even Olivia likes him better than me.
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